Field Of Faith and Parenthood
I’ve blown it again Father.
Our morning time together I had all planned out seemed like such a good idea.
I mean, it is a good idea, a totally good idea… If I had just done it.
I’m so tired.
I’ve been up all night with the baby.
Midnight feedings and Lego minefields have left my feet and my brain feeling shell-shocked.
The Mine Field of Being Busy
My morning workout ended in me in yoga pants and a tank top sitting on my yoga mat and then hearing the baby cry. I shake my head realizing this idea is down for the count as well. So much for that!
I change and feed the baby and “Little Bit” is up, holding his sister’s hands. He is in his red firetruck pajamas. His favorite!
The Mine Field of Brokenness
He runs and hugs my legs, so happy to be alive but starts chanting his one of three words “eat… eat… eat”. The girls and I smile at one another. The chant does not end until he is actually eating and then starts up again when his food and everyone around him is gone. Then it begins again, and the tears…
The girls clean him up as I go to get Mom ready. Dressed, teeth brushed, hair styled, and ready to eat. That done I look at the calendar to see what is on my list of to-do’s for the day.
I sigh…
The Mine Field Of Responsibility
Today mom needs to go to her exercise programs followed by doctor appointments.
I pack up two diaper bags, a couple of bottled waters, mom’s vitamins and a cooler with snacks, and off we all go. One girl has “Baby Bit” and one has “Little Bit”, I bring the stroller.
I say a brief prayer. One of protection for all of us but one for me. One that begs mercy on a very tired mom and daughter before I start the car and off we go zooming down the street.
The Mine Field of A Caretaker
I get Mom checked in and in her bathing suit, and into the pool and head back to the car with the entire troop.
I slip inside the car and I rest my head on the steering wheel as I feed the baby realizing I have become a “soccer mom” to my mom and I chuckle. I have the minivan and everything…
The girls are chatting, a warm twitter with one another.
The car is getting warm so I roll the windows down and check the rear view to see if mom is done yet. The whining from the back seat let me know that my diet and vow for no eating out is about to fly out the window like Little Bit’s Hot Wheels Car did when he held it in the window I was supposed to see how it would look driving fast on the freeway and whoosh! It was gone.
I pull sliced apples out of his little cooler and hand him one and smile at him.
The baby makes smacking noises but stays sleeping in my arms.
The Blessings of Grace
I’m feeling bad about my failures today. My diet, my workout but mostly about my time with you Lord.
I turn the car on and put on my bible CD’s remembering they were there.
Here we are Lord, spending time after all.
The children grow quiet and I realize everyone is listening.
I smile to myself
Maybe I have not messed up after all.
James 4:8A Come near to God and he will come near to you.
Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.®
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