The other side of the waiting room, infant loss, Trisomy 13, Birth defects, {c) Rosevine Cottage Girls

The Other Side Of The Waiting Room Trisomy 13

Baby Carter - Trisomy 13 - little baby feet with parents rings on them a mother's hand lovingly holding them | infant loss \ rosevinecottagegirls.com

A Journey Through Trisomy 13


Yesterday my dad and I rushed to the hospital three hours away to meet a cousin who had broken all of the doctor’s expectations. He has Trisomy 13 and they didn’t expect him to make it to delivery. We got to the hospital moments after Carter Lee was born. He was the tiniest baby I have ever seen, being just two pounds four ounces and was 15.8 inches long. Everyone said it was like holding a baby doll. I spent the day with my aunt helping her photograph his beautiful but all too short life. You see, my little cousin Carter lived only an hour and twenty minutes outside of his mother’s womb.  

 
Trisomy 13 | newborn preemies feet in grandma's hands | rosevinecottagegirls.com | infant loss


Heartache Of Trisomy

Later in the waiting room, I sat there watching the other families laughing and smiling, and then I looked at the other side of the waiting room where a sister silently sobbed, an aunt stared off at nothing at all. A Grandparent sat with tears in their eyes instead of a smile. And I look at the others caught up in their own little world and it seems almost cruel that time can go on. I wonder how you ever can heal? I wonder how broken hearts can ever be put back together?  Whose hands can find all the tiny pieces like a jigsaw puzzle and craft them back together again? 

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The other side of the waiting room, infant loss, Trisomy 13, Birth defects, {c) Rosevine Cottage Girls

Who can make it look beautiful again?

 

Psalm 139:13  For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

 
Infant Loss, Trisomy 13, Trisomy, The other side of the waiting room (C) Rosevine Cottage Girls | rosevinecottagegirls.com newborn baby in his mother's arms

 

Isaiah 61:3 To all who mourn… he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair…

 

Trisomy 13 | The other side of the waiting room, Joy and loss, Infant Loss, pregnancy loss, Trisomy 13, (c) Rosevine Cottage Girls | rosevinecottagegirls.com | infant's feet


How a mother can ever move on? 
How can a photograph of a foot knit together your memories? 
How after so many tears and so much pain you can ever be whole?
 It amazes me how different our story was compared to those so happy around us. How tears and happy laughter could mix. How life could change you forever in a blink of an eye. 

Trisomy 13 | Infant preemies hand holding his grandmas finger | rosevinecottagegirls.com
 

Psalms 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

 
 


Today, it seems as if it is cruel that everyone else’s life goes on while someone else could be so shattered. Today, I sit and I edit the photos I took yesterday and I cry and I pray that one day there will be beauty from all of this pain. 

A mother's empty hands after handing off her baby to family | trisomy 13 | rosevinecottagegirls.com

 

Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

 

Husband and wife giving one another comfort | trisomy 13 | rosevinecottagegirls.com

Trisomy 13 – Hallelujah Anyway

And yet in the midst of the pain and heartbreak, I saw overwhelming love.
I saw why God gave us family.
I saw my dad kneel at the foot of my cousin’s bed as she held her baby and I saw him pray.

 
trisomy 13 | man praying at a bedside | rosevinecottagegirls.com
 
I will never be the same. None of us will. So for now, we will grieve. We will smile at the memories and we will wait for joy to come in the morning.
 
sunset | trisomy 13 | rosevinecottagegirls.com
 
Carter’s sunset
3 women on the floor crying in one another's arms | rosevinecottagegirls.com | trisomy 13
 
I will not say goodbye sweet cousin because I know that you wait for us in heaven.  I know that my siblings must have met you at the gates and you all wait for us with our Savior.  I long to be together with them and you.  Until that day… we send our love.
 
Young woman looking at herself in the car mirror with a camera - rosevinecottagegirls.com | Trisomy 13
 
See part two Long Road Home 
 
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