When Loving Is Hard

We traveled across the country with severe storms and tornadoes ahead of us and more behind us. If we got too far ahead of the storm behind us we were stopped and in the middle of tornadoes to our left and right and not able to see anything in the middle of the desert. We huddled in Winslow, Arizona in front of an old television in an even older Motel trying to watch the weather when the lights and air conditioning went out with a pop. We sat in the dark wondering if we would make it to our destination at all. Wondering if we heard God right when we felt the call to come.

The next day we were forced to stop at the only gas station, on the only exit along the lonely Route 66 to take refuge when the radio screamed tornado warnings along that town’s railroad tracks and the highway. We were sitting there as the sky became green and looked over to see that our precious caravan of a minivan and moving van is following along those railroad tracks. The rain turns to hail and we become huddled in the van surrounded by diesel trucks on every side. When there was no place to take refuge from the storms as the sky darkened to an inky black around us and the lightning flashed and thunder roared and you wonder why you are here.

I crawled into the back seat of the van and mom moved to the middle seats as my husband and mother-in-law climbed into the front seats as a refuge. I cried all night wedged between the children’s car seats, When you thought it could not get worse out there the rain came down harder. Falling horizontally now spraying from what seemed like a fire hose in every direction at once on every window in the van and the wind blew and shook the car violently until you could no longer hear the engines of the trucks around you. I prayed, and cried and prayed some more… This trip was not what I dreamed it would be. It was not turning out like I hoped it would be and I found myself just praying…Lord! What am I doing here?

When Your Dream Doesn’t Look Like You Thought It would

We made the very tough journey and to our friends home where we would stay until we found a home. When we did my mother and husband fell in love with the house but it was not my dream. It was not where I wanted to live but we prayed and bought the house and we moved in. I met the neighbors and I remember telling her how excited I was to get to know people and how we wanted to have the neighbors over to a barbecue like we did back home in Southern California. The neighbor looked at me like I was a talking squirrel and then proceeded to tell me that this was not THAT kind of neighborhood and THAT is exactly why they moved there. Now, I’m no extrovert. I am very introverted but I was starting over. I had no one and was so homesick.

My little amount of hope that this would work out like a windsock that lost its wind fell. I smiled and made excuses and headed back home. She was right; this is NOT that kind of neighborhood. I remember praying again; Lord… what am I doing here?

Over the years living here I have tried to teach the girls and to live out the scripture where we are called to love our neighbor, even when loving is hard. We have baked bread for the new neighbors; we have made cards for people and cooked meals when they were ill or injured and have mowed lawns, babysat pets, and watched over children, but that neighbor lady’s words still ring true.

This is the most unfriendly neighborhood I have ever seen. Someone here has maligned us, they have spread rumors, injured and killed our pets, stolen from us, and outright ignored us. It has been hard to live through and not get bitter. I wonder often why we ended up here and I still ask God why I am here?

Let Your Light So Shine

The truth is even though it has been more awful than good, even though loving is hard I have to believe that we were brought here for a reason. That maybe we were a light in the darkness in this strange place and when we leave, I pray that the light we showed will remain. I think that is all we can hope. That our lives, no matter how small, how insignificant to us and our own eyes; that in the light of eternity it will make a difference. So while we are here, we walk down the road praying for each family. We help who we can, and love on who will let us, yes, even when it is hard.

What do you do when loving is hard?

We would love to hear from you.

• It Didn’t Go My Way
• Struck Down But Not Destroyed
• Seek Me
• You Are Mine
• Keep Running
• Sometimes God Uses A Sledgehammer
• This is War
• Have You Thanked God In This
• When The World Says “You’re Not Enough”
• Don’t Stop Building – Working Through Criticism
• Don’t Stop Praying
• When The World Says To Quit 
• Jumping To Conclusions
• Life is Hard
• Charades, When the World Says You’re Faking
• Don’t Postpone Joy
• Bear One Another’s Burdens

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