Sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub, bare feet tapping an unknown rhythm on the floor. Chippy pink nail polish meets your eye then you look away to the counter were a pregnancy test sits that you really want to look at, but you are terrified to look at. The truth is you are afraid to hope anymore. Weeks, months, years of trying and failing. Your heart about beats out of your chest, but you can’t get yourself to look because your heart just can’t take another letdown.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick. But a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
The pregnancy test has the”+” and your dream is about to come true you are afraid to be excited, but you do because it is your dream. Then comes the cramping and the bleeding begins and the doctor calls you in to confirm that they are gone, and the crushing feeling that your body has failed you, again closes in.
Or when you finally are pregnant but you get the diagnosis that your baby is not compatible with life. As you fold the tiny baby clothes -each holding a dream- you realize that this is all you will have of them as you slip them into the box, a set of baby shoes, a tiny hat, a bib- every dream shattered, like shards of glass on a sandy shore.
Or the foster mom that has raised dozens of children, Woke up with them at night – changed their diapers and fed them with all the love you had. You couldn’t have loved them more if you bore them but they are whisked away and all you have left are empty rooms, an empty crib, toys no longer played with, empty bottles and sippy cups and silent baby monitors. Haunting reminders of the love that once lived there. As you stand in the doorway you can almost hear their voices- laughing, cooing, jabbering, asking you to read a story.
Eyes staring longingly from old photographs, tiny toy soldiers standing sentry- a dolly still holding out her arms for the embrace that will never return. The echoes of laughter, the sound of small feet running to you in the foyer as you open the door. The swing that plays music every time you bump into it.
The son or daughter gone too soon. Taken in the blink of an eye from a tragic accident or slowly over days, weeks months and years from illness.
Remember those who silently experience another empty Mother’s Day. Pray for them and reach out and let them know you love them and remember with them- Give a mom a hug today. They say we need ten meaningful hugs a day. Be one of those hugs to someone. It may mean more than you can ever know.
If you missed the first”When Mother’s Day Hurts” blog post you can find it here. If these touched you, will you share them on FB or other social media. It may help someone that is our prayer. Thank you so much!
#MothersDay #babyloss #childloss #infertility #miscarriage #FosterCare #FosterMother #FosterMom