Do you ever wonder if you’re enough? If the choices you’ve made, the race you’ve tried to run were good enough. Recently someone told me I needed to get a life. The conversation up to that point had been about her life, I listened quietly as she talked about a cruise she’d been on, working as a nanny, school and so on. When she came to the end of everything she’d been up to since the last time she was in town she suddenly stated she wanted to hear all about our lives.
You know when someone asks that “how have you been?” question and you both know they don’t really care it’s just something to say? Yeah, that was this moment on a hot summer afternoon on a corner of a porch.
I think my answer was something short and simple, like “Oh just working on the blog, we’ve been doing a lot of hiking- getting to see some amazing waterfalls and working in the garden,” She rolled her eyes and graced us with her opinion before launching into some other thing she’d experienced/done/or wanted to do completely unaware of Brianna and I staring at each other in stunned silence. The truth is I’ve never been enough or done enough in her eyes. I’ve never had her acceptance or approval.
I’d forgotten about this conversation until this morning when I saw a quote by Frederick Buecher, The place God calls you to is where your deep gladness and the worlds deep hunger meet.
The world doesn’t understand the places God calls us to. Often times they’ll laugh, sometimes they make fun of us. But we’re in good company… I’m sure they told Noah he needed to get a life instead of working on a boat when no one had ever seen rain before. Or Caleb when at 85 he wanted the hill country that had turned the Israelites back into the desert for 40 years.
The bible is full of men and woman who heard God’s voice and chased after what He placed in their hearts, and the world called them foolish. Until a flood did come until a virgin did give birth until an old woman did have a son until the boat was loaded with fish in the middle of the afternoon until their prophecies did come true.
It’s very easy to listen to the world, and let it chase us back to the safety of “normal”, to run back to their box and seal it up behind us, to pick up the crayon and color between the lines they’ve set up.
It’s so easy to let their words shake us, to let them seep into our hearts and suddenly like Peter, we find ourselves sinking. We feel the wind and the fury of the water and doubt takes a foothold. We find ourselves regretting ever climbing from the boat in the first place. Afraid that the world is going to see us fall.
Suddenly everything looks different- the ground you’ve faithfully tended and cared for seems worthless. Their words become a recording playing in our hearts and what we’ve invested so much time and energy in seems, cheap and ugly, and foolish. It plays in our heads until it’s corrupted everything we’ve been working so hard on.
Before you were born I set you apart Jerimiah 1:5
You were born for this. This dream, this place, this very spot. You were set apart before the beginning of time, you were set apart for THIS. Your God called you out into the waves, do you really think He will leave you now?
Stop listening to the voices on the shore telling you lies. Stop looking back, that isn’t the way you are going. Stop letting them direct your life. Stretch out your arms and grab a hold of His promises, cling to the dream He gave you. Push forward, out into the deep water, into the scary risky places that He is calling you to.
You see the funny thing about deep water is, that it doesn’t matter how far you go when you can’t touch the bottom. You’re already in, keep going. Trust Him. This moment isn’t a surprise to Him- He’s holding the pen.
You were born to change the world, to show the world what happens when one person surrenders their all and offers all the pieces to a big God. You were made to show the world what happens when a big God takes the pieces of your life and steps into the middle of it- It doesn’t matter what they want. It doesn’t matter what they think. It doesn’t matter what the say. Their opinion isn’t relevant, stop trying to take the pen from God’s hand and give it to them.
Stop listening to them, your daddy’s doesn’t make mistakes. Stop letting them force you into a box, stop letting them confine you to the lines they consider acceptable. Stop trying to be someone they accept, want or like. Be someone you like. Keep doing what wakes you up excited, keep doing the thing He has called you too. Keep chasing His plan. Keep following Him into deep water.
You are a child of the King, set apart for a purpose. You are not bound by their will, you don’t need to make them happy. You don’t need them to tell you, you’re enough, you don’t need their approval. or acceptance, just His.
There isn’t room for them to sit on the throne of your heart and Him. It’s time we stop bowing down and allowing them into the gates of our hearts to direct our steps. It’s time we evict them and restore Him to his rightful place. We aren’t moved by the world because our God goes before us. We don’t belong to them, we belong to HIM.